Fall break in the Desert

Oh Great Readers!  We are on the road again, this time with the bro-laws (and a new golf foursome addition) AND our significant others.  We are in Scottsdale, having arrived Thursday night, and are settled in a four-bedroom house..."bonding."  (cough cough)

Yesterday, four of us went to the Grand Canyon.  No, it's not really nearby.  But it is worth seeing.  Here's one money shot --

Funny thing:  we were NOT alone!  middle of, as my kid said, "Bumblef**k", there were 3 huge parking lots and there wasn't an empty spot when we got there at 3 o'clock -- Mountain Standard Time (yes, Arizona is now the only state that stays on standard time year round) -- who knew?

Do you see the people out on those rocks?!?!  You know, like miles up?!?!?!?  And the one was jumping up and down!  Crazy shit.

Friday night we went out for tacos and tequila.  Here's the mango margarita.   The highlight of a blah evening. Though bro law John decided to make friends with people on the street in Old Town Scottsdale.  Except for the one guy.  "Hey, nice beard," he says...and the guy gets almost past him and he says "but not the pony-tail!"  The guy doesn't break stride but says "tough guy" and flips him off.    John also (if you can't tell, he'd had a drink or two) made friends with waiter.  You know the kind of thing "you're doing a great job" (at least 3 times).  LOL.  The waiter was NOT amused.

Then back to the house for chatter.

Bro law Butch, when told there was a pool, "bring your suit" said "no suit, I only swim naked."  Fortunately he was kidding.  So far. :)

Saturday was day two and the guys went to play golf.  We played on the Saguaro course at We-ko-pa -- one of many Native lands with golf courses and casinos.  It had a great reputation and lived up to it.  We had a great time, with great views.

As you can see, the desert is beautiful and the mountains in the background.

It was a long day, 4 hours and 45 minutes for the round (if you are quick, you can do this in less than 4), which finished with this classic -- that's Ian in front of his ball in the desert on that last hole!  Fun stuff.

Then home, only to find that the significant others had spent the time doing yoga.  Here's a pic of their instructor on the back pool deck.

(the picture is from sis law Lanissa -- FYI)

And that's all we got.  It's not been a food porn trip...

One more day of golf.  John has beaten us like burros for two days, so maybe tomorrow we can find a way to have him hit the ball into the desert more (from experience I can tell you that it's not that much fun -- see today's sign here).

Wine is the Elixir of Life. And other cliched sayings

The plan all along for today was "wineries."  The implied contract was that I didn't whine about it. (I've got a million of 'em, so don't flinch).

I am afraid I was ruined years ago for wine tastings by the movie Sideways.  That Miles thinks he can get that last note of broccoli in that pinot is...well, fucking funny.  So is his sidekick Jack's tasting: "yup, wine." Gulp gulp.

It didn't help that we started Sunday night at Belhurst Castle with a server who made Sideways seem real:  he did the description -- "a cheeky little wine with buttery notes with hints of lemon and grass" -- in a dead monotone.  Think the teacher in the Wonder Years.  This might not have been bad, but I got to hear him to do it three times.  In monotone.

But our full day started better at Ravines, where we are club members.  Judy, the pourer, was very chatty.  It's always good to know a lot about the biography of someone you will never meet again.  But this running monologue, interrupted by mentions of the wine, included her overpouring the glasses and giving more tastes than the standard 5.  In fact, there had been extra already when she realized that the sparkling had been opened and we must taste that!

This stop included tasting next to a very nice young couple from Philly.  They just got married on Friday.  He is a CPA, she a doctoral student in history.  Since it's our anniversary trip, there was kizmet.

I was "promised" we wouldn't go far from Geneva -- Ravines was actually almost in sight of our house (here's a pic to show the view from the portico, Ravines is just over the grape fields to the right)

So, a handful of miles down the road.  Most notable here was that the staff all seemed to be college students.  They were mildly chirpy and did a good job of explaining and pouring.  There was, oC, a view of the lake.  (more on this later)

Our newlywed friends recommended Weimer, another 10 miles down the lake.  Here I saw a phenomenon I'd never seen before: my wife used the spit bucket.  I asked if she was filling it for Miles for later (again, a Sideways reference) but she just wasn't a fan of their wine or the server.

We went back through Geneva, stopped for a healthy lunch of ice cream and donut holes, and continued to V-something.  Again, disappointment with the wine and server, but the view right on the lake was great.  And watching the sparrows eat cracker crumbs on the back porch was amusing.

Finally, as 4 o'clock neared we ended at Zugribe.  Named after the founder and owner.  Whose name is Fred.  Whose son, the wine maker's name is Fred.  They have a wine called 4 Freds.  so, OC, I called the pourer Fred.  :). Small amusements.

Fred did a good job.  K ended up buying 3 different varietals (see,I pay attention!) there.  Making a total of 8 for the day.

Then, after going back to the room and changing (okay, there was a nap in there, watching so much wine tasting is tiring), we went to this place for dinner.

The two of us often wonder on these trips how crazy people with money are.  You know, I
ve got lots of money, so lets build a mock Italian villa on the shore of Lake Seneca.  Built in 1910, that's what Geneva on the Lake is.

The restaurant specializes, as so many do these days, in local ingredients.  Like wine pourers, this is imminently mockable.  "Hand-picked corn from the field nearby...". The filet walked in this afternoon...etc.

We shared the caprese salad ("local fresh tomatoes")

 There was a peach sorbet for amuse bouche between (hand picked locally)

Then K had the filet, but I had the scallops ("fresh from the lake outside")

Then a walk outside in the dusk to see the back garden (the "cement pond") --

And I didn't even mention the obnoxious guy at the next table who everyone in the tiny restaurant could here actually read the two women at his table the history of the building, as well as tour guide for the rest of the area.  ):  ah, well...

In all, a good day.  No crashes, good food, & it seems we made it to our anniversary another year. :)

The World Turned Upside Down. And Brunch.

Day 2 started with Sunday brunch in Albany.  After some searching, we landed at the Cafe Madison, which rather tellingly, doesn't take reservations.  The wait was supposed to be 45 minutes but was only 25 (rah!).

CM's motto is "brunch without booze is just breakfast."  Their drink menu lived up to it; I had the strawberry lemonade (it had vodka in it, duh) & K had the cranberry ginger.  Pictured. For the bright color.

Then off to the National Historic Park at Saratoga.This was a last minute selection -- something different.

It is beautiful ground.  As you can see here from the visitor center:

That's Vermont across the Hudson on the horizon, BTW. 

The park has a nice one-way, 9-mile drive, with 9 stops to give you local knowledge.  There's not much reconstructed.  There was a house, which was the headquarters for General Gates. We wondered what Chip and Joanna could do with it. 

The Battle of Saratoga is full of legendary moments and monuments.  General Arnold (he who shall not be named) was shot in the leg during the battle and there's a boot statute denoting the spot, though not mentioning who the two star general was.  Clever.  

British General Simon Fraser was shot there, too, and is buried there on the battlefield.  

BTW, the audio tour did not make fall weather in that part of New York sound pleasant.  OC, it is different if you are in a tent all the time.  

One selling point was that there was an 18th c fair on the grounds where General Burgoyne actually surrendered days after the battle.  There we learned that churning butter is hard (who knew?) and it's easier to make it in a mayonaisse jar and shaking.  And whey tastes awful.  

We learned that beer was food back then, with low alcohol content.   I know several people (who are reading this in fact) who believe that.  

And there was this Punch and Judy show, replete with a sign warning that it was an 18th c show and not PC.  Who knew?

Then a long drive to Geneva, where we are staying in a restored/renovated old mansion, with almost a view of Lake Seneca.  

Dinner in Geneva was a disappointment.  K had the pizza du jour which was white pizza with duck and brussel sprouts.  I wondered why.  & there was a discussion of whether it was pizza without red sauce (no!)

And then back to the room,to watch GoT on HBo Go (the wonders of modern tech) & act surprised Jaime is still alive.  & Little Finger is a sneaky prick.  Who knew?

A Day at the Races

It's time for our annual August vacation trip -- this time to upstate New York (which, to the uninitiated means "anywhere north of New York City").

Last night and tonight we are staying on Mansion Row in Albany, in a place on the historic site index, built in the late 19th century for a woman who became a famous suffragete.  And here's the view from the room -- the capitol and east beyond to the mountains, and Massachusetts (right?)

Probably the highlight of dinner, at the Ginger Man (named, it said, after the Donleavy novel), was this -- for those of you too old or too young, this is fondue!

It was fun.  And the other food was good, too.

***
We started the day with breakfast. We hit a place a short walk from the hotel. Nothing special.

Then we went to "the Spa" to the races.   The big concession to MY addiction (hint: tomorrow night we are actually staying in the guest house of a winery).

Despite warnings all week about the day's weather, it started beautifully!  The race track at Saratoga is famous for its grove of trees, where people picnic and watch the races on TV.  And there are lots of vendors.

To my shock, Mrs H bought a hat!!!! I've been known to buy hats to commemorate trips, but here she is, stopping at the vendor, looking at the tag and not passing out, then actually trying on a straw hat in the "Slavin style."  She also kept singing, which made me wonder...

We had good seats in the grandstand (photo here) and spent most of the day pissing away money -- unable to sustain even a show parley (where you pick a horse to show in the race and bet the winnings on the next race to do the same -- it can add up if you can pick horses to show).

But near the end of the day it darkened, then rain.  Then, with all the customers under the stands (there were about 30,000) it lightninged!  NBD, but the crowd oooh-ed and aaaah-ed --I told K it was like a fireworks display.

After a 25 minute delay, they ran the big race, the fourstardave (I guess it's a NY sports bar?), on soft turf.  I ended the day hitting the Grand Slam (Josh will know), which paid $30 for my $1 bet.  Salved a pretty bad day.

Then back to Albany (about 40 miles) for Italian for dinner.  It was not clear who chose the Italian (she called!) -- the papardelle bolognesse was excellent.  Mio Posto.  I guess there's one in Saratoga, too.

Day one down...later I'll write up day 2.

Last day in Stratford, or what did you say HMS stands for, or what's a pinafore?

The last day in Stratford was a pretty day; sunny and 75ish.

Breakfast was a frittata served with salsa.  And peameal bacon.  I didn't have it.  Look it up.  (bacon rolled in corn meal, I guess)

K, EH and I ended up in town center (a controversy as Walmart funded the paving over a parking lot next to town hall), ending up in the coffee and crepe place.  I don't know why they had savory crepes -- I had this apple cinnamon one, which tasted like apple pie.  :)

There was some shopping (since some readers here might be getting something, I won't tell what for) and then back to prep for dinner.

In case you are wondering about the almost constant eating, an oft repeated line by Michael was "I'm going to gain back those 15 pounds in a week"...(I expect a comment at the end of this reporting that he DID! :)).

Dinner was on Main St at a place called Mercer Hall, where 3 years ago we all remembered having a good lunch.

Michael rapturously ate an asparagus and carrot salad (here's the link to the pics, again). Yes, asparagus, again!  (he likes asparagus...)

Then he had the mussels dinner.  (you'll recognize them in the pics)

EH and I both had the curry vegetable bowl.  Thus.

Barb had their signature chicken & K and unpictured burger.

Then dessert -- they had a series of crumbles.  EH and I agreed to share the peanut butter and banana one.  You can see the rhubarb cheesecake and the brownie one in the pics, too.

EH did not understand that "sharing" with me meant you didn't linger over a spoonful OR have a drink of coffee.  She got 1, 2, 3 spoonfuls behind...and I had to pause.  Okay, I might have tapped on the glass once or twice.  :)

Then off to see HMS Pinafore.

Gilbert & Sullivan is...well, light.  Lots and lots of songs.

This production did a lot of...production.  You know, big numbers in their numbers.  Like 10 sailors singing and dancing (I'm sure they did scissor kicks at various times in their dances).  Like 10 sailors singing love songs to mops turned mop-side up.  Right.

Let me say that coming back to the B&B and watching the end of the hockey game was a good antidote. :)

It was good.  Fun.  The tunes got in your ear.  The social satire of the Lord of the Admiralty claiming the best strategy was to stay at your desk and away from the sea and you'd head the Admiralty (rhymes, you see) -- which reminds me of the qualifications of much of the current administration.

And then back for cards and hockey and the death of a bottle of Saturday's wine (it was Riesling, I think).  EH & I won at cards, trash was talked, with barnyard noises with them up 9-8 in game 1 but we took all the tricks in the next hand and...it was over.

So was the trip.  Consensus was that the Chinese place on Sunday was the best meal and probably our first play, School for Scandal, was the best.  Although Pinafore was not a bore (rhymes, you see).

So, we are home.  It was great fun, another quality Road movie with Bob, Bing & accompaniment.

Cheers, fine Readers.  Till next time.

All Bard, all the time, or if food be the music of love, eat on!

Wednesday was a 2-play day for all of us.  Two Shakespeares for the 3 of us.  Even as much of a fan of this as I am, let me say you probably shouldn't try this at home.  Not only is Willy Shakes dense, giving you lots to think about, but his plays are on the long side for the current norm.  But, it was a pleasant enough day.

We started day one with the breakfast part of "bed and breakfast."  Our host, Terry, served us bacon, eggs, and waffles, with a side order of muffins or coffee cake if you wanted it.  A nice light repast to start your day.  It was very good.

It was not long before the four of us, the old folks, as it were, were off to the first play of the day (I momentarily forgot that EH refused to go see Twelfth Night because she dislikes Shakespeare's comedies AND she is particularly not fond of this one.  In fact, she was not fond of this production WITHOUT having seen it! :)).  We walked in the park next to the theatre, had the traditional vacation lunch of chocolate ice cream (famous line from this trip from Michael, "I've eaten more ice cream on this trip than I've eaten in the last year." That was Sunday, at least one ice cream ago :)). Then the gift shop, where I bought a new deck of cards, and then the play.

K and I enjoyed the play.  M & B did not.  Now for English major/theatre person stuff; skip if you want to the next bold.  This version of the play began with Feste (the play's fool) onstage, singing.  As the actor, Brent Carver, has the voice for it, well, okay.  Carver is on the publicity for the play, with a guitar (which he never plays, BTW).  The director, or whomever made it Feste's play -- had several songs, sometimes alone onstage.  This perturbed EH quite a bit, as she said the sexual politics of it was...well, I think she went with "wrong" a lot over dinner.  In fact, for those of you who don't know the play, they reversed the first two scenes: it's supposed to start with a shipwreck, where the brother and sister are separated and the sister, Viola (named, OC, for the character played by Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespeare in Love) is washed ashore and thinks her brother, who is her twin, his drowned at sea.

The actor playing Viola/Cesario was okay, but she wasn't strong enough, or wasn't directed, to take over the play that is HER play.

And the actor playing Duke Orsino came out in the new opening scene with the "if music be the food of love" line, spitting it like he was seriously pissed off.  Not melancholy, but mad.  He did this throughout, making his transition to love for Cesario/Viola harder to grasp.

Those are the big flaws.  Oh, yeah.  The picture.  (you can't take them here with actors on stage, OC):

Yes, those are fake trees.  The balcony, requisite in so many Shakespeare plays, is in the top of the center tree.  But this looks, on the face of it, like a set for As You Like It.  !!!  And the trees, seen above as silver, folded out to make them more golden at the beginning of the second act.  Michael explained this was symbolic of Olivia's blossoming through her love for Cesario.  Uh huh.

(For those of you who skipped, you can come back now).  We had enough time to go back to the B&B and change and go to dinner.   We ate at The (Old) Prune.  No, I don't get the ( ) thing, either, but I didn't put it on the sign.  We have eaten there before and they have a pretty high end chef.

It was a pre fixe menu, with four categories (apps, mid, mains, desserts) and you could get 2, 3, or 4 for a fixed price.  Only EH went for 3.

I took pictures.  They are in the Stratford file again, but here's the link, again.

Here's my first course, a "mid" (as you can see, not large), which was tortellini with a light cheese sauce:

Rather than figure out how to caption, the other items are K & Barb's potato & herb soup with a ball of gruyere, EH's squid and kale.  M had unpictured pate (blah!)

For main courses, I'll picture the twofer -- both EH and M had the seared salmon with Japanese style broth and wasabi.

Barb had skate wing, Karen had game hen (already off the bone, which I'd never seen before), and I had the risotto with tomatoes.

We were all pleased with dinner.  EH & M were disappointed the salmon didn't have more sear to it.

And then EH had the rhubarb with strawberry sorbet dessert (pictured).

Sated, we went our separate ways:  remember Barb refused to see a 3rd production of Timon of Athens (I have killed that horse many times over with Timon & Pumba jokes), so they went to see something new called The Virgin Trial.  They said it was quite good.

Timon was in the Patterson Theatre, which is usually a small thrust, with like 5 rows of seats in risers all around, but last night was a stage in theatre in the round.  Here's the opening set.

Very modern.  Timon is rich and a couple opening scenes are banquet or partying scenes.

In Act 2, the gray modern floor, is changed with lighting and there's a trapdoor that serves as his cave, where Timon "lives" throughout.

It was good.  They did a good job of pacing, and the series of scenes where his servants go to his "friends" (turns out he has only 2, neither with money) to ask for money were well done.

At the end, we enjoyed it.  Some of it was quality poetry -- this guy Shakespeare might have had talent.  If he hadn't written a bunch of the greatest plays ever, this one would be considered quality stuff.

It was a rather late night and everyone was tired, so no card game to report on.  I got to watch the NBA game, which was amazing as the Warriors came from 6 down in the last minute and a half with 11 consecutive points.

Who's on First, or Comedy with Bob and Bing, and Professionals

Today, we moved from Toronto to Stratford.  (warning, this may be longer because of attempted comedy.  Do not try this at home)

Not much happened in Toronto before trying to leave the apartment.  Not for want of trying.

First, I guess I should start with this comedy: I was awakened last night at 1:30 with a "the dishwasher is overflowing on the floor."  I got up, used 3 towels to wipe up the suds pouring out of the running dishwasher -- it seemed to stop after that cycle -- and went back to bed and immediately to sleep (I had a LOT of bad dreams after the Mexican food, so forgive me for forgetting this one in yesterday's blog).  Turns out Michael loaded and started the dishwasher and thought "liquid" on the slot meant you put dishwashing liquid -- a la Dawn -- in the machine.  SMH.

Then there was breakfast.  Or no breakfast.  K wanted to go out for breakfast before leaving for Stratford.  We had to leave the apartment, we thought, by 1130.  Well, by 10 there was no movement to go, because...well, we'll not recreate all the communication about this.  At one point Michael said he didn't want to referee.

We got the cars out of separate garages.  Okay, we went to.  I got a call a block away to tell me that I had left the car keys. I said no, dug in my pocket, and found I had the key fob for the apartment that we were supposed to leave behind.  I went up the elevator as EH went down with the car keys.  I met Michael in the hall as I went back down as he had forgotten HIS phone!  Keystone Kops?  Yupper.

The three of us ended up getting "grab and go" at a place that claimed they had the best croissants in Toronto -- they didn't have chocolate ones, so we don't know for sure, but the bread, brownie and scone were very good -- and got to Stratford rather early despite traffic.

There we saw Sheridan's School for Scandal.  Your quick primer is that it is 1777 play, with wigs and brocade clothing, a comedy with a potentially cuckolded husband (look it up, John), a rake guardee, and lots of talk about gossip and fake news (yes, really) -- they played off social media and the Trump stuff nicely.  The famed screen scene was the same Keystone Kops routine we did in Toronto to some extent -- you know, the woman hides behind the screen in the room, then the second person wants to hide behind the screen, too, then the third person...eventually with three people in the room, and the screen comes down -- revealing the wife! Oh, no!  It was well acted, funny (it was George Washington's favorite play, acc to the playbill), and had great costumes.

Then to check in to the bed and breakfast.

This is (we determined) our 6th trip to Stratford since 2009.  We came then to sate our desire to be in London (we were there together in May and June of 2008) and seeing plays; I'm not sure this is really a less expensive alternative (Stratford, despite being the Bloomsburg of Ontario, is expensive, as are the play tickets).

Anyway, in '13 we found this bed & breakfast and this is the first time we've been able to book it for when we wanted to come.

As nice as this is, and EH has her own bedroom in our 2 bedroom flat, the down side is that the host used to be a breakfast tyrant: you are down at 9 for breakfast.  No questions.  Not buffet, but sit, visit with the other visitors (aka "strangers") and eat what is put in front of you (which, as I recall, was usually interesting and rather good).

We checked in and went to dinner.

We discovered this place, called Pazzo, the first year and it's a tradition to eat here once when we are here.   I took lots of pictures (Barb reminded me "for the blog"), which you can see here.  I will insert the lasagna, which both Barb and K had and enjoyed --

And EH's lemon tart, because, ICYMI, we've gotten on a lemon tart thing on this trip (we all LOVE lemon tart):

We are running short on time on this trip (we leave Friday 😞), but tomorrow we do what Michael and Barb did today -- we all see two plays.  Rah rah.  Dinner is at The Prune, famed for its tartars.

Looking forward to it...

You call this a castle?! or There are 6,000 restaurants in Toronto, and...

Hi, readers.  Share with your friends, please.  Our publisher wants our numbers up.

At dinner, EH told the story of one of our faithful readers.  A friend of hers.  Seems EH sent her the link when we were in Central Europe last month ("Part I") and she responded, "Your dad is funny."  EH clarified thusly, "She was laughing AT you, not with you."  Okay, there's some burn in that, but if that's what it takes to get readers, I'm all for it, especially as I'm the Bob Hope in this thing.  He WAS the comic relief and all.

It was Monday, even in Canada, so we moved slowly.  It was heading toward noon before we got out of the apartment and Michael got the car (finally?!) out and drove us to Castle Loma.  Both Barb and K had this on their must-see list.

Requisite pic of outside:

Yes, it's a "castle."  But I was aware that there never were real castles in Canada -- being that their were no medieval wars here, despite the princesses, guys in armor, and warlock figurines in the gift shop -- so was not surprised to find that Castle Loma was built in 1911+ by the local banker.  In a dozen years, he was bankrupt and the city was taking it back for taxes.

In the mean time, he threw up this little crib with some nice accoutrements, like a teak floor in the first floor gallery, a couple turrets overlooking what was then the slum (the sign said it was a slum, how would I know? it's not MY value judgment), a stable, and a nice fountain (see pictures) in the back garden.

EH and I agreed that next to Vienna palaces (see this blog), it was NBD.  A tiger skin on the floor; a couple rooms "after" Robert Adam...but not overly exciting.  One man's folly.

We decided afterward that the interior design was "eclectic," as in, some 18th century (the Adam rooms), some Edwardian (her bedroom, for one), and some Edwardian macho chic (his bedroom, see tiger) and it was a shame that he both poured so much into the place and left it to go to whomever...now the Rotarians own and run it as a tourist site (it works!).

Three of us had lunch on the back garden terrace.  Does not get many stars in my book, and, BTW, it was NOT warm.

In case you don't get it, that's their "Castle All Dressed Bratwurst," with apple slaw, sauerkraut and two types of mustard.

Then off to town as Morgan Freeman dropped EH and K one place, me another and Barb and Michael went to find something not a sausage on a roll for late lunch.

We killed the afternoon with some naps, some cards (EH turns out is VERY competitive at euchre -- she even trash talks!  geez).

But, about dinner:  in the morning, there was a discussion (this is my story and I'm sticking to it) about where to go for dinner.  There was 4+ star Mexican place within 6 minutes walk from the flat.  I booked us there.  When K found out, her response was "there are 6,000 restaurants in Toronto and YOU pick Mexican?!?!"  This was said more than once.  It was never clear who's cuisine she wanted, and EH repeated "I love Mexican food," but we arrived at the restaurant with a certain friction in the air.  (BTW, EH, who loves Mexican, has a culinary rule: don't eat Mexican in a city where you can't buy salsa in the grocery stores.  Hmmm...)

This was not made better by our indecision, again, over the menu.  But Jenn talked us into two orders of guac, which EH and I devoured (no pic, sorry, I was too busy eating) -- it had more lime than usual and had pomegranate seeds on top to give it some sweetness and it was beat pretty smooth.  BTW, they had both corn chips and taro ones.  We all liked the taro ones best.

We then got the empanadas, which change daily.  Ours were chicken and the vegetarian option had corn, black beans, and mushrooms.  Everyone who had some thought the chicken ones were excellent.

Then tacos de rajas poblanos, which was the biggest hit of the night (I think).

THEN (yes, there was more food), there was the chicken dish (Alegeria?) that was on a bed of green beans and mushrooms and had a dark sauce, and EH ordered the fish special, which was sea bass with pineapple-cilantro salsa over a bed of "seafood picadillo."  Over a plantain.  I don't know what seafood picadillo is, but boy was it good. :).

We were all thrilled with the meal, even K told me that it was a good choice (ahhh!).

We were all too stuffed to order dessert, but there was an A&W on the way home, so EH and I stopped for a root beer float.  As we said, our proletarian treat after all the rich food at dinner. :)

Back to the flat for Michael to agonize over the Penguins loss (this, like their anniversary, seems to be an annual tradition on our trips now), and for EH to continue her winning streak at euchre -- she has yet to lose a series.  She grumbled on the way to bed "I can't believe I got set" about the one hand where she didn't crush her opponents. :)

And Tuesday, we are having breakfast, and then off to Stratford (according to Google maps, it is a day's walk...in case you wanted to know) for the first of several plays -- we are all seeing Richard Sheridan's delightful comedy *School for Scandal* in the afternoon.  As they say in the theatre (where there are REAL people acting, I heard at the escape house), break a leg!

Day 2: We can't Escape!

So, faithful reader, I begin the day with the photo link, since I forgot to put the hyperlink in yesterday. ):  Sorry.

Big day in Toronto.

Bing and I went to the ballgame with Barb and K -- he got to sing several times (maybe that was the reason for going in his mind, though it said it was the food!).  First time at the Rogers Centre: we had great seats, two rows up behind the rightfielder, and saw a great game, with the Jays coming back from 2-0 down against the Yankees to win with a homer in the bottom of the 8th, 3-2.  Josh Donaldson hit the homer, and it was his bobblehead day.  But, despite getting there 40 minutes before game time, for the 2nd game in a row, K and I didn't get the publicized souvenir. ):

Meanwhile, EH went to the Royal Museum.  Which explains, at least in part, why she's EH and the rest of us act like she knows a lot. :)

BTW, this is a photo from our apartment.  Yes, we are right under the CN Tower, the iconic symbol of the city.

After some discussion, and my "adventure at Starbucks" (there's one conveniently in our building on the ground floor) -- the woman two in front of me in line swooned (good word) and we spent some time trying to figure out what happened.  She was pretty non-responsive, rather peaked...they called the EMTs and dug through her pockets to find a credit card and her phone and they called someone on it and told them she was there and what was happening.  This morning I was told it was low blood sugar...explaining, I guess, why I made sure I got Timmy Ho-Hos for breakfast (the Canadian national donut, a la Dunkin, for you rookies).

We decided on dinner at the nearest Chinese place with good ratings.  On the way we passed a rack of t-shirts.  I got the sexual innuendo of it, but I missed the literal level, it turns out (BJs, Yanks...). Two hours later, in the men's room, Michael finally got me to understand what it was supposed to mean about baseball.  They all thought this was VERY funny.   Ha ha.

Dinner was excellent.  We were having what EH called choice fatigue when the waitress said we could have everything -- she'd just bring out a sample and...

First, there were their dim sum, or classic apps -- this is a lobster roll:

Then there was this lobster dish --

Then this seafood in a rice basket (the seafood was mildly spicy):

I don't seem to have a pic of our favorite (as I was taking it), the finale, which was a vermicelli with crab meat dish (ending with noodles).

I have not included the duck, the crab ravioli, the ginger covered shrimp...

It was the best meal so far and will hard to top.  Michael kept making "mmmm" noises. :)

Then, via Uber SUV (there are 5 of us, remember) to the escape house.

If you've never done this, this was our first time, too.  Barb and K wanted to do this.  This house is a 19th century historical mansion where they have shot episodes of the Murdoch Mysteries (called something else in the states), which are set in ca. 1900 Toronto.  We were greeted at the door by a rather tall fellow in tails and a bowler hat, who kept calling us constables.  Insert appropriate joke.

The waiver we signed was funny (something about not suing for emotional distress, for one), as was his list of things NOT to do while in the rooms.  He was particularly concerned with acting like actors were REAL people (with two theatre people with us, we knew better) and not to prod, poke or hurt them.

What happens in an escape room is you are locked into a room with a bunch of clues that you have to solve to get out of the room.  In our scenario, we had to figure out where 5 murders took place (there was a map of Toronto with locations on it) and find 4 keys to unlock a desk that...well, that was what we were told to do.   We had an hour.  We were told though there were only 5 of us, that it was usually 12, and that the solve rate was 10%.  Sounded like a challenge, it was.

The next 60 minutes was rather crazy.  Ok, EH has accused me of spending half an hour playing with a cabinet to get one key, so maybe it wasn't so much.  (In the end, a la James Kirk, I cheated, opened the cabinet and took the key).  There was a suspect in a jail cell, who Barb decided was the real detective -- not the guy in the bowler hat -- and early on got the jail cell key out of his pocket and got them to switch places.  I was in the wrong room when this happened (of course). Oh, yes, it took a series of clues to open the secret second room -- I have no idea where the first three badges came from but the last clue was fire...

EH and Michael spent a long time first finding 6 bells with symbols on them, then deciding that a tune on the radio-- a six note chime -- was the order of the bells.  Someone found a locked box with six (huh, funny that) rotating rings on it, with symbols like the ones on the bells.  Eventually they got the bells in order, and the symbols, opened that and found a key.

Barb and I worked too long on a series of chemical bottles that ended with us discovering a key in the arsenic bottle.

K and I worked wayyyyyy too long on 3 telegrams that you had to use a decoder to decode 2 of them, but then a typewriter to decode the third -- giving us one of the murder addresses.  Clever.

We ran out of time just as we got the desk unlocked to find six charts, numbered from crime 1 to six.

Our detective explained how well we did for just 5 of us (sure, sure) and that Det. Murdock was saved anyway (did I forget to tell you we were to get out to save him from the serial killer?).

It was great fun and we talked and talked about the things we did and shouldn't have done.  And how clever several of us (not me) were.   I did not have a clever day.

Then, it being a nice evening, we started the 20 minute walk back to the apartment.  We stopped and an ice cream place named Sweet Jesus (we're not sure why), which featured a picture of a nun smoking, reading the Bible and flipping the photographer off on the wall.  There was a huge line.

Another in joke: as we were looking for places to eat, EH suggested, prefacing with "none of you will want to do it," a "sushi burrito place."  It turned out to be next to Sweet Jesus.  Here's the sign:

Michael reads it and says, aloud, "Swedish burritos."  Which is a whole different fusion, but, no, not the same thing! :).  To make him feel better and distract everyone, I then tripped over the flower bed out front, managing to stay on my feet and say "I was just speeding up awkwardly." :)

Sweet Jesus was a bit of a disappointment -- it was decent soft serve, but the "Pimped Out" (their words) creations were limp, if you get my drift.  The "Sweet Jesus" signature ice cream turned out to be vanilla with chocolate, peanut, and caramel on the outside, not something more luxurious.

We finished with cards -- euchre, with K and EH taking on Michael and I.  At one point, the wicked women made a sound like "eh-heh" in almost unison -- at my expense -- and we all laughed at the  two of them being so much alike.

Final one-liner: yesterday we were talking about what we brought and Michael said, all I brought was blah-blah and ben-gay.  Barb says "old man cologne."  LOL.  None of the other 3 of us had ever heard it before.

Ben-gay.  Old man cologne.  Funny.

Till tomorrow, from Toronto...

Day 1 in Canada, or How much Asparagus can one man eat?

Yes, loyal readers, we are back!  Bob and Bing, Dorothy and Dorothy, and EH, all on week long trip to Canada (wine country, Toronto, and Stratford).

We stayed Friday night in Grand Island, NY, which is north and west of Buffalo, and lived up to its name.  Lots of very large homes facing the Niagara River.  Here's the river pic from our very nice Radisson hotel room:

Then to Canadian wine country.

First stop was Tawse (no, we still don't know how to pronounce it), which has a great view, in fact, thought he binoculars, you can see Toronto (the tower, etc) across the lake.  No picture I got does it justice.

There was significant tasting done, so much that Bing took a dive in the tasting room.  He seems to be all right.  Seems to be.

Next was Vineland Estates, where we had lunch.  No one was hungry but the food was so good.  We concentrated on dessert:

That's lemon curd torte with rhubarb ice cream.  EH had the courage to do it.

Then, after fighting Blue Jays game traffic (we are across the street from the Rogers Centre, where they play), we found our way to the apartment.  There were codes to get into the building, and parking to be found, etc.  Small adventure.

The next "thing" was dinner.  It was Bing and Barb's anniversary (I pointed out to the waiter that this was their story -- it seemed they milked the anniversary thing on us every year on a trip! Huh)...so we had sparkling wine.

Dinner, at Luma, a "block" (you know how Google is about this -- they clearly haven't walked it) from the apartment.

We ordered.  Bing ordered asparagus and asparagus and asparagus.  Okay, the soup of the day was cold asparagus; and there was a large side order of asparagus.  Here's the soup --

There were jokes about whether there was an asparagus dessert (crumble was suggested); discussion of the smell of pee (if you don't know, Google it).

And then some glorious desserts.  Here's the link to the pictures, but here's the lemon tart (yes, again), with appropriate message:

It was a good day one.  Weather report: it was 75 and sunny.  Lunch was out on the deck of the vineyard -- couldn't have been better.  BUT! every other day, except Wednesday, is supposed to be rainy.   And, if you are wondering (I'm sure you are), the Rogers Centre has a retractable roof, so we'll be dry for Josh Donaldson Bobblehead Day (if you don't know, google it!).   G'day, mate.

Last day in Europe and who knows where we are or what river that is?

Ok, we made it to the airport hotel in Vienna (our jumping off spot for Newark) but not without some stress and lots and lots of boredom.  I'll try to not overdo it (okay, "try" is probably not accurate :)), but...I'll try to go in chronological (almost order).

I went to breakfast in the 5-star spa/hotel alone, letting EH rest and sleep.  As I sat waiting on my continental breakfast (see pic, the orange juice was VERY orange), I decided to double check train arrangements to Budapest.

I soon was texting EH that I couldn't find a train to Budapest but there seemed to be viable bus options.

By the time I got to the room, she'd found something.  "This advice page said, 'go to the Slovakian national railway page to find trains from Bratislava to Budapest.'"  Yes, people were giving advice as they were having my problem.  I went there. "How did you get it in English?"  "I didn't. "  We determined there was an 1153 "fast" train to Budapest and went about our business.

But first -- a why the f**k: in the midst of this, we determined it'd be easier to just take the train to Vienna and catch our plane there.  So I called Austrian Airlines first (we are flying home on their airline, but it's one of those share things with United).  She tells me she can't do that because United issued the ticket.  Of course, getting United in the States from Europe means...well, I got someone.  Told her the problem.  She said "oh, you can do that, but let me see what it'd cost."  She put me on hold for 5 minutes and comes back with this: We'll have to reissue the ticket from Vienna, so it'd be $300 for this, $50 for us talking to you, and another $300 for that." !!!!  I quickly said good-bye, not bothering to find out if that was for one or both of us.

Riddle me this, Riddler: why?  Why would they charge me more money than I paid for the whole roundtrip ticket (by triple digits!) for a seat I already had?!?!!?  I get the security worry about not getting on the plane in Budapest, but...I don't get airline pricing.  And they were going to re-sell our seats to Newark in a day?  SMH.  A lot.

Problem 2:  Bradislava Castle doesn't let you go inside.  Who knows why?  But it's a 50s reconstruction of the original, which Napoleon (that bastard) destroyed in like 1809.  Today was battle reenactment day -- thus...

on the street next to us.

We couldn't get an Uber (our original plan) from the bakery & coffee shop where EH got her morning fast break, so we walked "Google" 12 minutes and got the bus back.  We uber'd to the train station, where the 1153 was 5 minutes late.  We sat for about 45 minutes, having gotten there early.  BTW, the tickets cost all of 30E (I wish I could find that symbol on here!).

The trip from Bratislava to Budapest stays on the north side of the Danube, in Slovakia.  Slovakia was the poor side of "Czechoslovakia"; Bratislava is the largest city, 500,000.  Some of the stops weren't on Google maps.  I'm not kidding.   Look up Sturovo and see what you get.  Let along the next stop (in Hungary) which was something like "Skav."

Funny thing: they checked tickets about an hour and a half into the 3 hour ride.  In Slovakia.  Another guy came in right after we crossed the border and checked again -- twice!  I guess the Hungarians worry about the rabble from Slovakia sneaking in.

BTW, we really liked Bratislava.  Not sure there's enough there to bring us back, but it's nice enough to recommend anyone who is anywhere near there.   Like Vienna.  Or Budapest.  Prague is a ways away, but even that...

After a snack in Budapest, we went to the airport.  We got the taxi at the train station and I made a mistake and got change in Forints (you remember, the Hungarian currency) for snacks.  The driver took about the only route to the airport and said "30 euros" when we got there!  I only paid the driver on Monday, hired ahead of time, 24!  And we went farther into town.  I gave him most of the rest of my szlotnies (inside joke) and we went in to wait for the plane.

The receptionist at Austrian Air couldn't have been nicer.  Since it was a share with United, neither would let me pick seats.  She got us seats on tomorrow's flight.

And we waited for hours.  Literally.  I spent EVERY bit of currency I had, down to like 6 euros in coins and 100 drachmas.  The board said "we'll tell you what gate in X minutes."  In Brussels they did this and we got to the gate as they started boarding.  This happened again.  But we were on the flight.  Which is worth mentioning for this --

We were on the plane so efficiently (I'm not supposed to say the Austrians have "German efficiency", but...) that we took off almost on time after a 15 minute delay.  They actually served drinks during the 40 minute (no shit!) flight.  And our bags were there within like 2 minutes after we got to the luggage carousel.  Get this: in ten minutes, we were on the ground, got our bags, and were in the hotel restaurant having their buffet.  The most expensive meal of the trip.  :).

and, given things, here's the appropriate final food pic of the trip -- double dessert on the last night!

It's been a great trip.  We didn't learn a word of Hungarian or Slovakian, but really loved both countries and their capitol cities.  Vienna was impressive, in a lot of ways, but we both thought it lacks charm.  Neither of us thought it'd be high on our "gotta go back" list.  Budapest, more likely.

So, intrepid reader, here's your final picture link -- with a shout out to our next traveling companions, Bing and Dorothy (see if you can find the reference to you in the pics).

We'll be back in two weeks from...heck, somewhere up north.

Your intrepid blogger.

Bouncing around Vienna & Bratislava (look it up)

 Opening: I was told early  that "hopalong" was not a good new nickname. & she just knew that Salzburg was the 4th largest city in Austria.:) EH!

The morning was spent at 2 art galleries -- the Leopold & the Kunsthistoriche (art history, I guess). At Leopold, saw more Expressionism that I feel is healthy, especially the Schiele. The notes said he painted all these nudes because he was an existentialist & concerned with their themes. That's why so many were of him & they were "flattering"if you catch my drift. Nudge nudge.

On the top floor (remember "hopalong" and her blistered, bloody toes) was the Gustav Klimt exhibit.  EH admitted disappointment -- I thought it was a solid modernist exhibition.  Not an overwhelming number, but enough to know his work pretty well.  EH bought souvenirs.  Not me.

Then across the Museum Quarter (yes, they have a whole area full of museums) -- but we couldn't find the entrance to the Kunsthistoriche.  We actually (it turns out) stood and talked about the door, but decided there needed to be more to it -- like people walking in.  So, unnecessarily, we circled this huge baroque building and ended up going through the door ("eingang").

We sat on the steps inside and looked at the map and decided everything either of us wanted to see was on the first floor in the rooms numbered mostly in the 20s.  So, off we went.

This was the Hapsburg's art collection.  As I pointed out to her, at least one of them had a thing for naked breasts.  (sort of a counter to the previous museum, but he did breasts, too).  And a thing for heads chopped off -- there must have been five paintings depicting Judith with Holofernes's head.

 Oh, yeah, and the other "go to" for the museum -- Mary Magdalene, sorrowful and repentant.  And, just to connect the dots, a good half the time sorrowful and repentant sans top.  Funny how that works.

They had two rooms of Rubens's.  I like Rubens enough; EH isn't a fan.  A room of Brueghel Srs.  A room of van Dycks.  A room of Caravaggios.  It was an impressive collection, especially if you take it literally that it was the archduke or emperor's private collection before.  You'd need a 2,500 room mansion...oh, yeah, they had one!  :)

I've spent too much time on this, as it turns out.

HERE'S THE PICTURE LINK

Then onto the train to Bratislava.  Europeans are proud of their train system.  The train to Bratislava was one bale of straw short of having chickens and being from one of those movies.  Late 20th c. style.

A woman got on in the eastern burbs of Vienna and sat across from us and pulled out her phone.  I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP: she talked on the phone the entire time she was on the train.  And fairly loudly.  In German (not that that mattered).  When she hung up once I felt relief, when she went to dial another number I almost reached out and took the phone from her and started an international incident.  I shook and held it in and she got off a couple steps before Bratislava.

We got a taxi ride from the station to the hotel.  23Es!!! double what it was in Vienna.  EH looked (after) and found Wiki Travel saying "don't just grab a taxi at the station, they are shysters who gouge tourists."  Been there, done that.

The hotel is very nice -- Booking.com says 5-stars.  Here's the bathroom, see what you think:

Best one so far.  Tomorrow night in Vienna may be a let down.

The front desk person (Angelika) told us to take the bus down to the castle (on the hill below us) and walk down to Old Town.  To get tickets at the tobacco shop for .70 or .80 euros.

EH walked away as I tried to use Google translate and my Clouseau accent to get "eight baseek bus tickets".  I gave her my phone with bus ticket on it and she shrugged how much and showed me .90 euro ones, longer than I needed, and I bought those.

We started the walk down the hill and there was a pharmacy; this time the pharmacist, or counter person, to be vague when we aren't sure, admitted to speaking a little English.  I was able to buy that American staple: ibuprofen.

Then to this lovely church, St. Martin's, which sits on the west end of Old Town (parts of which date back to the 10th century).

We have a very positive impression of Bratislava, despite the fleecing by the taxi driver.

Here's the Old Town, toward St. Michael's Gate --

We sat and had home-made lemonade on the corner and watched people going by, speculating on how many were Americans (probably quite a few).

Then we went to dinner.  EH found the best Central European cuisine in Bratislava (which might be the best...you fill in the blank).  She had pig knuckle, which came with potato pancakes.  Pictured.

And, then, sore feet and all, after discussing not having time to see it otherwise, we walked the 12 minutes (.5 KM according to Google) in the opposite direction from the hotel to see this -- which is probably a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

Google maps suggested Uber and in 2 minutes a guy pulled up in a small, if not exactly rickety, car and whisked us to the top of our hill (here's the photo to show how high above B'lava) for less than 4 euros!  We're in Slovakia, we still exploit the workers.

We were a couple thousand FitBit steps below yesterday, but still impressive given how hurt and worn out we were.  EH was a trooper.  And I still want that woman's cell phone. :)

Tomorrow, a last castle, last train ride, and short flight back to Vienna.  It's almost over...!!!