Viennese Palaces (+) in a Day; or, I'm just a simple gardener

[There were many photos.  Here's the link to the new album.  Enjoy.  I know some will beg for captions.  Another day, another life. ]

The second title comes from the voice over, and EH's constant repetition of it, from the palace tour at Schonnbrun...and then again at their other place in the city, Hofburg.   Also known as "Sisi's rooms."  (more on that, gag gag, later)

So you get the gist of all this, and our prole response, here's the "summer palace" --

A mere 1,000 rooms.

But the Hapsburgs, as we were told repeatedly, wanted to have the common touch, so they all learned a trade.  The last one was a gardener.  Of course, as Meg pointed out, he was a "simple gardener who had two attendants to pull him out of his bath every morning and wipe him down" or, as I put it so eloquently standing in line, I wasn't sure if this characteristic made them better or more likely to have someone attempt to assassinate them -- which happened regularly it seems.  You know, the simple emperor with 1,000 rooms, with gilt on the walls, the man of the people, and all...SMN!

But, on a slightly lighter note, we started the day with this --

This place, the Cafe Einstein, was two blocks from the hotel.  And, yes, ICYMI, on the left front corner is custard.  EH *made* me eat it for breakfast.  The waiter didn't speak English and neither did the menu, so we worked Google translate hard (a handy thing) and this is what we ordered.  Their "grosse" as I recall.  Oh, and, not pictured, it came with breads and two boiled eggs.

The discussion, given all the pics of Einstein on the walls, led to Albert (who we determined had nothing to do with Vienna, but is an intellectual rock star and all).  Having read Isaacson's biography and seen the first 3 episodes of the National Geographic series, I pointed out his genius was based on a few papers written in one year.  I was given heck!  "How many times did the man have to re-write physics?!?!?!?"  I just pointed out that the great man himself made no bones about it, according to Isaacson (and his own papers) that he was disappointed he never got further on the General Theory.  You know, light breakfast conversation.

Then to Schonnbrun.  1,000 rooms.  Summer place.  A la Versailles.  Supposedly Marie Antoinette was overwhelmed by Versailles, but given the size of this place, well...

We heard a lot about how the next-to-last Emperor, Franz Joseph, who ruled 68 years up to 1916, was such a common guy.  Got up early, worked hard days, didn't like pomp.  Just ruled over 70 million people and had places in Vienna with 1,000 and 2,500 rooms.  You know, Joe Shmo on the street.

After lunch (pictured), we took the U(nderground) to the other palace -- the Sisi Museum. Okay, if we were gagging a bit at Schonnbrun, it gets better.  Sisi, Elizabeth, was Franz Joseph's wife.  They married when she was 16, a Bavarian princess.  She was a very attractive woman and the voice over let us knew she knew it and worked to keep it that way -- including a study where she actually worked out (a chin up bar, rings, etc).

Sisi gets credit for the stuff in this palace.  This was the big one downtown, which many generations built onto, until the 2,500 rooms.  The tour began with, and I'm not making this up, 40 rooms of silver and plates.  40.  No shit.  EH asked at one point why anyone needed that many gilded candelabras...

After the 40 rooms, which we didn't dally in, we went through the royal apartments.  The voice over in the audio guide included the same lines about Franz Joseph our everyman (with 2,500 rooms here, right?) etc.  They seem particularly proud of a recording they have of him saying the pro forma words at the end of his audience, which roughly translated were "nice talking to you, we're done."  Except shorter.  He wasn't wasting much time with small talk.  You know, being busy working on the empire and all.

By the end of all this,  EH was worn down, so we stopped for a drink (there's a Starbucks in central Vienna!?!!? who knew?!!?!?) and I walked down to see St. Stephen's "dom" as it's named.  The 900 year old structure is an excellent example of Gothic architecture.   And love those roof tiles.  I bet those aren't 11th century.

and, gentle reader, if you thought we were too pooped to poop, no!  We then walked the 900 meters (so saith Google maps, liar!) to the "Secession."  This is a small gallery famous for its Klimpt mural.  You will seem some pictures of some of the art there...and, yes, really, there are rocks on the floor as one exhibit.  Yes.  Really.   And then there's the shot that you may not recognize, there's a bottle of water on that post in the middle of the room.  NO!  Not "a bottle of water" but a half...half...full? empty? bottle of water.  SMN #2.

Then back to the hotel for a pre-dinner nap and shower.  Then to a nearby "Austrian" cafe, after an abortive stop, and we had this, yes, this for dessert!  Finally, strudel!  And, yes, my friends, EH really did burst into "Toaster Stroo-dle" as the waitress walked away with our order.  Where's the embarrassed emoticon? 😞

Now, back to Sisi:  Sisi bore Franz Joseph, who the voiceover said adored her, multiple children (who can keep track of all the Franz's?) but she wasn't big on much of it.  They quoted her on marriage about spending 30 years having been forced into a decision at age 15 that you didn't understand.  She wrote poetry and liked to travel and was "rarely at court."  He had like 6 pictures of her in his study/office.  She had none of him in her similar room.  All of her family back in Bavaria and the youngest daughter.

Well, Sisi had the luck of history on her side: in 1896 or abouts she was assassinated by an Italian activist while in Switzerland.  She was laid in state at the Hofburg, where we were, and etc etc, creating almost instantly a cult of Sisi.  There are movies.  Some from Hollywood.  etc etc.

Let me finish with some generalizations: we've read that Vienna is regularly ranked as the best city in the world to live in.  We see that.  It is clean.  The underground runs on time.  It seems to have everything you'd want in terms of culture.  However, we both liked Budapest better.  Dirtier, grittier, no one seemed worried about time -- my anecdote was that the woman at the checkout counter at Schonnbrun asked for my ID!  I was using my AAA travel card.  I hadn't signed it.  No one had asked in 5 days.  But she pointed out that it said "not valid without signature."  I pointed out I had no ID that matched the embossed "Travel Card" on the front. :) . I showed her my passport, she said "I had to..." and I wondered...WTF!

Now, to traveling: I admit to screwing up this arrangement in Vienna.  We are staying in a very nice hotel -- at least one star better than the one in Budapest -- across the street from the university.  However, as I scouted and arranged this, it was supposed to be "close" to the train station -- turns out we came into a different train station!  and it's not close to the center of town, really (not like in Budapest), so there are places to eat, but it's not touristy, so Google translate is teaching us new words.  Like Frielandi -- which is a free range egg.

As you can see from the pictures, there would be much else to tell, but I have 50% more steps on my Fitbit today than any other day on the trip.  And tomorrow there's another gallery, and then to Bratislava...where I'm not sure what to expect, although we are booked in the only (who's surprised it's just one?) 5-star hotel in the city.

I will go to sleep tonight, pondering 3,500 rooms and being a simple gardener.  :)