Monster Day; or not!

 Hi, dear readers (do you hear the Scottish accent?), 

Today was Royal Dornoch day.  I write this with little time as dinner calls, but here are your quick highlights. 

The Texans went fishing early.  G-man "fell in," though he was only wet up to the middle of his shins, and they caught nothing.  His wise statement was "it's called fishing, not catching."  😂

Meanwhile, the OG's went for breakfast. After a slow start. 

We all ended up in the same eatery a mile from our place.  It wasn't worth a photo. But it was good.  Highlight was that it was a dog place and Db to meet lots of dogs. 

The OG's then went on to look for the Loch Ness monster.  Db put "Loch Ness" in the google and that turned out to be v, v bad.  ):

We ended up on the south coast road.  "Track?" :). It was one-lane for miles, with lots of gasps as cars came and we decided who had the lay-by.  It was narrow enough that hit guttered through washouts and at times scraped the left side with tree branches.  None of us has dared to look to see how much paint is missing (I know Sean loves this stuff :)).

He blew ride by the semi-official overlook (it had an informational sign), I guess looking for something better.  We stopped not much farther down the road in a pullover and they went down the hill to the shore -- I don't know why and neither did they. :). It was not the nicest day, rather choppy on the loch.

Here's the thing: instead of taking us back the way we came (which made since to me), Google took us on down the southside, then a turn more south, and then...

More small roads. We went by the fishery where the Texans are fishing Wednesday morning.  When Google said the next turn was onto the A9, I said "I think we're going by the house." Db needed a bathroom...we turned onto the A9 and suddenly there was the turn for the house and he had to kinda dive hard.  The Texans went straight from breakfast, so they were 45 mins ahead for the trip to Dornoch.

Royal Dornoch is one of those places that knowledgeable golfers claimed is wonderful, but it's in the middle of nowhere (Db found out the bridge across Dornoch Firth was only built in 1983) and people have to work to get there.  It was a given that on this trip we were going there.  So...

They just built a new clubhouse. Supposedly cost $15m.  (or pounds).  Here's my money shot from the course as we walked up the 18th -- 

Other than saying that RD lived up to its reputation, I don't know what to say.  I guess I should get to the individualized stuff -- we drove up in a pouring rain.  This did not make us feel good. Duh.  As we got out of the car in the parking lot, it stopped.   Db had his app saying we had clearing till 6, then rain.  And it turned to be just minutes off.   But the first 3 hours were wonderful; our caddies couldn't believe our (and their) luck.  We played several holes in some rain, some heavy, some light, and it stopped toward the end, so that when we finished, it wasn't raining.   But it rained on the way.  So, good on the weather. 

The course starts with what my caddie called "a handshake" (an easy hole).  It went "out" (see last blog) for six holes, with the firth to your right with the golf course between you and the sea.  At six we climbed a big hill, the biggest elevation climb on the course, and, as of then, of the week, and we took pics from 7 tee because it's the money shot. 

That's the one end of the course, then you drop down (there are some interesting holes with rollercoaster fairway dropoffs) and then we turned back into the wind.  Then the rain. ):  A several holes had wild tilts and some had bowls, so the ball did all kinds of weird things.  At one point Z was told "aim for that house" and he said "that one?!?!?" and it was confirmed and he did and the ball hit and banked straight right and down to the pin 40 yards away. 

We all thought the course deserved its rep.  Which is something.  Even if it is somewhere near Norway :)

The story of the day comes from RR.  First, refresh your memory of RR and the euchre game the night before.  Well, he had a series of good holes and we came to a simple-looking par 3.  He flat pushed it, never having a chance to be anything but trouble.  "F***!" he yells.  We didn't think much of it (it's RR :)), but at dinner G-man tells their foursome's version (they were ahead of us): they were standing on the next tee and they hear the scream of "f**k" and KG turns to G-man and says, "That's RR." 😂

My caddie, Barry, was South African.  Several times I didn't understand him.  We were talking about course design and I thought he said "the course was built before the estuary went end."  I don't remember what it was he was saying, but the second part wasn't about the golf course or the estuary (remember, we can see the firth (of Dornoch) on every hole).   He was a great, yes, great caddie: halfway through the round he handed me the club without asking. At one point I said, "Can I play my hybrid here?" and he said, "you can do whatever you want, I'm not your wife." 😂

On a hole on the back side, RR was on the green and hit the first putt about 15 feet short.  He left the second one 3 feet short.  As we walked off, Barry said, "You dropped your lipstick."  😂.  RR says later "I had lipbalm in my pocket and i thought I had actually dropped it." 😂  I got the joke after a beat, then RR got it. 😂

If you look closely at the picture, you can see it getting dark when we finished -- about 730.  B was in charge of dinner, but the place he had picked was closing in minutes.  So, we impressived.  Or Barry did.  He said the place next to the first tee was good and said he'd walk over and see if they can take us; he came out with a thumbs up.   

It was the Royal Something Hotel.  And it was nice.  You'll see the food was fantastic.  But they were pretty full and the service set a new standard for atrocious!  It took 30 minutes to get someone to take our drink order.  It took us two-and-a-half hours to finish -- and we were an hour plus from the house. 😡

But it was good.  Here's today's food porn, starting with desserts --

This is lemon posset.  I'd never heard of it, ordered it (as did Db) and was that a good choice! :)

Apple chocolate tart (only Z had it)

Sticky toffee pudding.  With toffee ice cream. Got rave reviews. 

Several had this -- seafood pasta.  You can see the mussels, there were also shrimp and maybe scallops.

Peri-peri chicken.

Some kind of steak.  

KG and I drove home in the rain and the dark.  RR and B fell asleep in the back seat not ten minutes down the road.  Db laughed when he asked RR a question and got no answer.   :).  Db and I have driven enough over here for it to be a thing that bonds us: the difficulty of adjusting.  He's proud of this simile: driving on the left side is like wiping with your left hand.   He wanted to know why I hadn't used it yet (this is, as you might have noticed, only the 3rd blog)...so now I have. 

And, remember, if you want A LOT, then go to his Instagram at noblegolfer76.  

Tomorrow is Cabot Highlands, where Texans are playing 36.  It is also nearest to the house -- maybe 15 minutes. 

Again, Tioraidh an-drasta! 

Golf Day 1: Cullen Skink & other new stuff

 Hi Avid Readers,

It is Monday morning here; "early."  I wasn't blogging last night, though I had plenty of material. :)

FYI: if you want a pictorial supplement for the blog, go to Instagram & noblegolfer76.  That's Dbrolaw's account and he has a bunch of pics up from the first couple days (and now will feel the pressure to continue throughout the trip :))

With respect to Nairn GC (not Nairn Dunbar where are clubs WERE NOT on Saturday 😂), I'm opening with a cast of characters pic --

From the left: Vlad, Z, KG, Gilligan, Db, B, RR & G-man. The Skipper didn't make the photo (jk, Sean).

I said over time each character would do something to distinguish themselves, so here you go -- The first Z story 😂:

Everyone went to bed pretty early Saturday night.  Several around 9.  Vlad crashed in his clothes immediately after we got back for the Castle Tavern around 8 😂.  No one really paid attention to when Z went to bed, but around then (I'm sure there'll be hyper corrections from those shooting for accuracy here :)).  Sunday morning starting at around 630, people started wandering into the kitchen, making coffee, talking.  It got to be 8, and Z wasn't down yet.  G-man went up and knocked on his door. Nothing.  We said we were leaving at ~1015.  No Z.  We kinda wondered.  And, then, just to be the D***W** he's trying to be on this trip (said with love 💗), Db calls him. 😂  He picks up and he says, "Hey, we're leaving for the course in 5 minutes" and hangs up.  They said "he'll be done in no time."  And, sure enough, in less than 5 minutes, he was down in the 'fit you see above . 😂😂😂  He took it pretty well when we said "just kidding." 😂

Nairn is half hour east of where we are staying.  As you can see from the Instagram posts, it has a great archive room, which we all got a tour of.  Their claim to fame in golf circles is they hosted the Walker Cup in 1999.  It's a high, high quality course and we all loved it.  For golf enthusiasts, it goes "out" with the Moray Firth on your right, then comes back inland with parallel fairways coming "in."  The classic links pattern, like the Old Course.  Except it had two front nine "switch backs."  The short par 3 4th goes back toward the clubhouse, and so does the par 3 (I don't remember it) 8th, and there's some back and forth with 9, 10 & 11, before heading home.  At 13 you make a hard right up a hill, which is more daunting as it's the first real elevation change on the course -- "inland."  You then come back down on a very scenic par 3, before continuing toward the clubhouse. 

Final bit of golf: the wind blew in our face all the way out.  I told RR that I was tired of it and he said "what wind?"  He's already a Scot. :). It wasn't much.  But playing downwind back was a bit better. 

The story I have to get down is that my caddie, Sam, and I had a geographic discussion.  We were talking local golf courses and I said "I hear Fortrose is good."  He said yes.  I said "it's over there, right?"  pointing to our right, across the Moray Firth.  He said "no, it's back over there" and pointed pretty much the opposite way.  Okay, my Scottish geography sucks.  Then we wear talking about him living in Inverness and I said, "that way" -- ahead of us as we went out -- and he said "no, back that way" and pointed back at the clubhouse and followed with "Forres and Elgin are that way."  I was going to argue the point (not that I'm like that, and it turns out I'm not :)), but figured he lived here.  But I spent time trying to figure out how the firth could be to our right (north), and he claimed we were heading east.  🤷  This became clearer as the jets came in to land at Inverness Airport -- heading in the direction we were going.  When I told RR this in our post-round convo (we played in separate groups), he said "it's that way...how the f*** do you get that wrong? The planes are kinda a big clue."  Right.  Good one, Sam.  (He wasn't much of a talker and never asked me what I did for a living, family, etc, just where I was from, which he turned into "I have an aunt in Charlotte.")

We started the day with brunch at the club.  Their restaurant had been recommended and I took advantage of that to be the dinner organizer and having us eat there (everyone is assigned a day to have dinner place ready -- avoiding the hour-long "where are we going" and a mediocre choice.  Five of us had their full breakfast -- it's a Db go-to.

The rectange in the center was Lorne sausage; having eaten some of it, I still can't tell you what it is. :) Under the toast is a potato scone.  I would have loved to had the real thing, but I'm sure we'll get one. RR pointed out that it was a heart-healthy plate :)

Eggs benedict for everyone else.

It was good, but service was too slow for several of the party.  I got a chuckle when I said that my water was the best orange juice I had ever had -- someone said they pulped the shit out of it.  LOL.  (she eventually brought it and didn't charge for it)

After golf we settled in for drinks and the young'uns spent time "watching" the NFL for Fantasy Football results.  Youths! 

It is worth noting that the betting part took at least half an hour to calculate -- I think they called EF Hutton.  After day one, RR and Vlad are in the lead; I played with KG and sucked and we are in last.  We are switching partners every day. 

We decided we were too tired to go find another place to eat, so we ate at the club again.  The "weird" thing on the menu (not weird in this part of Scotland, it was on Saturday's menu, too) was something called Cullen Skink.   G-man ordered and wanted him to taste it, but I gave up on that and ordered it anyway.   I will let you look it up, but here's a picture.   It's quite good (if you like that sort of thing), with a smokiness they love here. 

The highlight of the post-round socializing was B finding out that the 4 Texans are playing Royal County Down (I hadn't been able to book it; KG tried last week and they had ONE tee time that the 4 took; it means some intense golf -- we'll prob do that later, but some claim it's the best course in the world).  I said, "Didn't you read your texts?"  and he says, "I don't read all that!" kind of indignant.  It got a great laugh.  "If I want to know something, I just call [Gilligan]"...this became one of the tag lines for the evening "Well, we can't text B..."  and there were occasions when we might have.  

And, now, the nightcap:

We get back to the house and KG wants to play euchre (if you know, you know, if not, it's a card game that is nearly inexplicable), and we end up with KG and I taking on B and RR, who have done a lot of chatting.  :). They didn't know each other and are IU fans, Hoosiers, of an age.  

KG and I get out of the gate early -- I think it was 6-0 before they scored -- and RR got madder and madder.  He was infamous for this in college -- he can bring the intensity.  

When we got to 9 -- "in the barn" -- KG and I leaned into the intensity by doing a NSFW team hand gesture.  RR said "no! he have to put on the cow's ears" (this notion proves that Hoosiers spend too much time at farms and have too much imagination), saying, you have to put the one scorecard behind each ear (you use the 4 and the 6 to keep the count up to 10).  KG did (surprisingly -- though there had been some serious alcohol consumption [vacation, etc, etc] and we all laughed so hard...RR got a picture.  It's a good picture but I'm respecting KG's desire not to have it published 😂

We won the game and went on to the second.  We got the lead and RR got hotter and hotter.  Every trick we won he spat "F***!" (KG said this morning he used the F bomb more in that game than he'd used it in a month and that was saying something :).  But B kept saying "We've got this."  And they came back.  They got to 9-6 and RR put on the cow ears (ROFL, ROFL, LOL).   

We then swept the next hand to make it 9-8.  I think B dealt, but in the end it got passed to me and I made it clubs.  I had 3 to the left and two diamonds.  With every trick came another "F!" 😂

And we got every trick!!!!  😂😂😂. RR took this calmly.  By slamming his last card on the table, saying F! F! F! (I don't know how many) and stomping out of the room -- cow's ears flying to the floor.  😂😂😂.

He'll be jonesing for a rematch. :)

And that's enough.  I have to actually do some things today to have blog material.  :)

Hope you enjoyed.  Slan leat 

 

 

 

The Blog that wasn't supposed to be -- Day 1: bad language, bad help, and we're swamped :)

 Yes, gang, here we are again, with the first of many (I'm sure too many for some of you) blogs from this, the BIGGEST TRIP EVER!!!!  (no, no hyperbole at all) [there wasn't going to be a blog yet, but a lot happened and I had time tonight...]

Here's the Wikipedia Quick Facts:  8 of us are just outside Inverness, Scotland (if you're not keen on Scottish geography, it is WAY up north, and is the capital of the Highlands).  We are here to play golf, with 4 going home to Texas after 12 days, the 4 OGs going back to Scotland for 2 rounds outside Edinburgh, then RR and I meet K in London to start almost 2 weeks of "cultural" vacation -- London, France, Brussels, and Amsterdam. 

Who's along? For this part with start with the usual suspects: myself, my son (known as KG), my two brother-in-laws (known as Dbrolaw and B), my college friend RR (from the May trip), and three of KG's buddies from the Dallas area (for these purposes) -- G-man (his nickname from the Bandon trip 5 years ago), Z, and Vlad, a nickname so inside I'm the only one who understands it.  They'll distinguish themselves as the 12 days go by. 

I did the travel agent stuff for the trip, so am responsible for the accommodations -- though I asked for input and generally got shrugs of disinterest.  This first place is a manor house, replete with suits of armor in the front foyer. 

It's a banger! 

How many places have armor on the first floor landing (and a grandfather clock)?

The place has six bedrooms and five baths and Paul, the proprietor, has been renovating it for 15 years.  He's a bit of a character. 

But here you go, classic Steve travel story one: the place is a bit out in the country (it also has its own fishing rights on the River Nairn, which some advantage will be taken and I used the "get directions" link on their airbnb page to get us here from the airport (we'll come back to that...) I made what turned out to be the right right-hand turn off the motorway (A9 for those counting at home) and are immediately in a little village (it doesn't even have a pub, unlike the place 4 years ago in Ireland :)) 

I end up turning around in the middle of the village and try again, and now it takes us across the A9 (remember, I'm driving on the "wrong side of the road" trying to cross the superhighway) and down a lane that didn't hold two cars at once -- you had to dive in dive spots.  Coming back, a bus came crashing towards us and I found a spot to dive and survive into. 

Anyway,  the map took us to a gate with a sign on it that said, no shit! "This is not the Airbnb! This is a private home.  Don't open the gate and come in!" :). B said "if you're going to say you aren't the Airbnb, can't you tell us where it is?"  Fair point. 

The next iteration -- were we now trying Apple Maps? -- fyi, Db asked the guy at Enterprise which worked best and he said both were equally awful locally. :) -- sent me across the A9, up a muddy track.  At the top there was a turn, and a gate straight ahead.  I ended up calling Paul and he told me to come in the gate and we were there.  

Paul was dressed like Mick Fleetwood regaled in purple velvet.  And he'd done the tour thing 100s of times -- he went through everything so fast the four of us couldn't keep track of it all.  :) He was also wearing a purple velvet hat.   

The other thing that impressed us is there's a 1930s phone in the ground floor community room (there's one on the first floor, too) and it is live and calls him directly if you pick it up!  Neat trick.  Probably good idea. 

While we were doing this, the other four took the van (we have a seven-passenger van and a large Mercedes SUV -- when we get all the suitcases and clubs together, it's A LOT!) and went to Nairn Golf Club, which is like 15 minutes in the opposite direction from the airpo

Db, the designated van driver, whips into the course and they are all wondering "where's the water?"  and the clubhouse was less than they expected.  They go in and say "we're here to pick up our clubs" and the guy (alone) in the shop says "what clubs?"  "WE have 8 sets of clubs shipped here."  I guess the guy looked around and said "I think I'd know if I had 8 sets of clubs show up."  They were at Nairn Dunbar GC, not Nairn Nairn GC. :) :) :). 

They eventually found the right place and one worker didn't want to go get them, but sent them upstairs for a drink and to look at their archives (it's a modestly famous course in the UK).  They got them (if you wonder why we'd both, you would have to know golfers and their equipment...it's a thing). 

Okay, back tracking, here are some quick hitter stories:

• The plane from London to Inverness (which so far is lovely, there's a picture of their castle) was full of school children going on a trip.  Two sat next to me, and two in the outside two seats for several rows.  I'd say I taught them a new word, but one of them who sat next to KG dropped it more often than most people say "the." :).  He and his row companion were busted before we ever took off and a couple times thereafter. :). Youths. 🤷   The ruggers were very noisy. ):
• In logistics problem 1001, the driver who was supposed to pick of the 4 Texans and B was late.  And showed up in wrong spot.  And never flashed the card with my name on.  And then got lost on the way between airports (he's never done this before?!?!?!  WTF?!?!?).  I was told he got no tip! 
• While the driver wasn't showing up, B was texting, asking where he was supposed to be :). Db sent a picture of KG, myself, B and him from 3 summers ago and said "guess who is who" and I said "B is the one who doesn't read the material." :) [I thought it was funny]
• In a moment of !@#$%^&*() I checked in as Z for the flight to Inverness -- I had all 8 tickets in my Apple Wallet and didn't know it and didn't look.  Z, the last one to try to check in, was cutoff.  Eventually someone figured it out, but he said he was scared...
• and the early winner: RR and I were on the shuttle to the airport Thursday night and a whole group of United pilots got on.  So I asked them what the message to Db meant -- he was told a day ahead that his flight was going to be 3 hours late.  They said it was definitely (he changed flights and it worked out well) a red flag.  But then the one I asked said, "whew! I thought you were going to ask the question that is asked frequently". "Which is?"  "Are there aliens?"  We chuckled and talked about it.  It seems that is closely followed by "is it flat or round."  Discussion of water falling off the edges :).  People!

I"m sure I'm missing several, but that's enough of an opener.  Everyone has crashed early, since 6 of us (not RR and myself) "slept" on the plane last night from the States. 

I finish with this the food porn du jour -- fish and chips from the Castle Tavern, right above the River Ness in downtown Inverness -- five people ordered it and all raved, as you might imagine. 

Which brings us to the title: we were outside and had trouble getting even that table.  When the fish and chips came there was an immediate desire more tartar sauce (as you might see from the pic).  When we finally got our wait staff's attention, we were told "we're too swamped to get out anymore..."  We did eventually get another (small) bowlful.  

And, final food porn (there'll be golf porn tomorrow), RR's pancakes this morning at Bill's in London

NB I have left out a series of NSFW, or not safe for ANYTHING!, jokes told early today.  B says it wasn't his best material, bc you don't use it on the first day. 😂

What Happens in Vermont...Nothing!

[editor's note: I'm supposed to make the record accurate by saying that K's aunt isn't 85, as maybe reported in a previous blog. She's ONLY 79. 😂 ]

So, we have been here two days.  We are done. 

I'll say this about Vermont: nobody has ever raved about its fast-pace.  Including me. 

Here we go:

After breakfast at the bagel place, .2 mile from our lodging, the historic Middlebury Inn (which has been fine and geographically convenient), we went and picked up Aunt Em.  Who said she'd show us the way "around the mountains" (discussions of what constitutes a mountain will wait for another day). 

I will summarize this way: we ended up on multiple dirt roads (I didn't know they really existed anymore), one that said "road blockaded ahead" (it wasn't), wondered through a ski resort's timeshare condos to the point where we came to a dead end. I mean, dead.  Had to do a 3-point turn around. 

I was not allowed to use Google maps until she was lost in the ski resort.  Then we were okay. 

It's lovely country.  Reminds us of home in Pennsylvania -- rolling hills, farms, trees, and some small mountains nearby.  Of course the weather here sucks worse in the winter. 

Our first stop was in Warren.  I couldn't find it again on a map.  We went into a hippie shop, run by a woman who might be called Rita, who had flaming fake red hair, and was 73 (she told us so).  Rita told this joke (you know, we were old pals after 3 minutes); if the man is in the woods alone, without a woman, is he still wrong?  She said the obvious answer is yes.  Laugh if you dare. 

We have stopped at at least 4 country stores, the theme of the trip like Christmas markets were on the trip to France in January, and eaten ice cream in many.  Here they call soft serve "creemee" and even have a Vermont creemee passport (I know my friend from Carlisle will be interested 😂).  K is in love with maple creemee, something you don't get back home (she likes maple more than chocolate! Sacrilege!)

We ended up at dinner at the Waybury Inn, which is where they shot the exteriors for the Bob Newhart Show.  You know. the one with "my brother Darryl, and my other brother Darryl."  Darryl and Darryl lived near there.  

The food was excellent.  

Vietnamese salmon (not actually brought in from Vietnam)

Spare ribs (we decided pigs have extra 😂)

Then, back to the hotel. 

This morning we found a "real" breakfast place (for two, $50, without cocktails!!! 😡) over near campus (Middlebury College, Carlisle-guy :))...the french toast, on Texas toast, was worth the photo. 

And, yes, it was real maple syrup.  Where do you think we are, Bloomsburg?!?! 😂

On the way north, we stopped at Beau Ties.  If you don't know their stuff, well, I'm not surprised.  We were told they made a lot of money in masks in the pandemic.  Here's our new friend Liz from there --

Liz growled pleasantly to let you know you weren't petting her enough. :). It was kinda cute. 

Then off to a place I'd never heard of: Shelburne Museum. 

The woman who put the museum together, her name was Electra and her family made their money in sugar and railroads.  She must have had a lot of money.  There are 39 buildings on the campus, and 25 have been moved there.  The first was a one-room schoolhouse.  

The most impressive is the ship that sits in about the center of the 40+ acres.  It is the SS Ticonderoga (or just "Ti" to the locals), which is one of few side-paddle steamboats.  There was a movie about how they drug it from Lake Champlain to the site, which took 60+ days and a lot of moving of rails.  It's an amazing site. 

The museum was full of folk art, which isn't my thing.  But I did like the quilt exhibit, which made one wonder -- the one supposedly had 769 triangles.  It felt like math to me. ):

Then to the village of Shelburne, where we found...a country store!!!  Stunning.  The pic of the maple creemee is from there.  The title comes from K laughing at a magnet in there; it said "what happens in Vermont, stays in Vermont, but nothing happens in Vermont."  😂. She bought it, some maple sugar, some maple candy, and like a ten gallon thing of maple syrup (slight exaggeration).  But she likes maple. 

We then tried to find Lake Champlain on the way back and didn't so much fail as never got to a spot where there was a good money shot.  It is a big lake, some 600 feet deep at some points. 

Hotel, nap, clean up, and back to get Auntie Em for final dinner.  Indian.  Here are pics: we had their original/classic, korma and (the bright red one) tikki marsala.  

There was a cookie store "one minute away" walking, acc to "the google."  

Here's what I had -- their "lovewich."  It's a butterscotch and chocolate chip cookie.  Fresh made. 

And, that, my friends, is about it.  We go home tomorrow.  Rah effin' rah. 

I go home to begin practice packing for my next trip -- "our" next trip -- when we go on the BIG TRIP to Europe.  28 days.  Six countries.  10 rounds of golf.  I've lost track of how many airbnbs, hotel rooms, and cars rented.  Like the years we've been married -- alot.

Till then.  

North to Vermont

Hi everyone --

I wonder if you were ready for some more blogging.  Probably not. Then ignore this. 😀 

I wasn't sure there'd be anything blog-worthy right off on this trip, but here we are.

Let's start with yesterday, as we drove north from Bloomsburg and stopped for a quick sandwich before our 2:30 appointment at Ravines Tasting Room outside Geneva. 

It was supposed to be an ice cream stop (we ARE on something like vacation), but K wanted "protein" (you don't think ice cream has protein?!?!?), so we ended up splitting a sandwich. 

In a tale as old as time (or us olds think fairly new, bc "back in the day" you got better service), even though they were told NOT to put mayonaise on our chicken and ham wrap, it had mayo on it (I got extra to put on my half).  K gagged after the first bite and had to send it back; they made another. 

We decided part of it was a language problem: the young person at the check-in spot spoke fluent Amish, and softly, so we neither knew half of what she was saying.  I must have said "excuse me" three times just to make the sandwich order.  I realized it was partially the accent -- She told the guy behind me that she'd be back "shirtly" -- which isn't quite as good as the "don't call me shirley" joke, but it has potential. 😂

To Ravines.  The server had been there three years, and to K's delight, talked incessantly.  She didn't exactly pull the Miles from Sideways "latent notes of broccoli" thing, but she came very, very close.  And we found out she was from Brooklyn.  I know where she drank on Friday.  I know she prefers the Sauvignon Blanc to the Riesling, and thinks Chenin Blanc is wonderful.  She's been to Paris with...

You get the picture.  I wish I had filmed it. 

Then to Scout Winery.  Yes, that's really their name.  The server at Ravines is a member of their wine club (bc I know by now you want to know this).  The server there, the wife? of the wine-maker, was more sedate.  I don't think she ever mentioned broccoli, though I think she mentioned pineapple notes (we're in effin upstate New York, where the F do you think you are getting pineapple notes from??!/11? the can in the kitchen?!?!!?).  But I know she went to Hobart and Smith rather than Middlebury (one wonders) and her partner is the only one she knows of working in gamay.  It's a grape, if you don't know.  

Okay, here's the best part of the weekend, so far: we get to the B&B and I immediately realize I don't have my toiletry bag.  Never got it out of the bathroom.  Forgot all about it.  We are 3+ hours from home and today we were going in the exact opposite direction from home (almost due north v. almost due south).  Can I live without my meds for 4 days?  K says she didn't want to see me try. 

We went to dinner.  We scheduled this place on Friday bc...well, it's a funny story.  K found a place, I said ok, then...Tuesday I said "did you make a reservation?" and she said no.  Friday I said "did you make a reservation?" and she said no.  Why not?  I wasn't sure you approved.  "What do you think 'did you make a reservation' means?"  Well...I said "what do I have to do to make you think I approve?" "Make the reservation." ROFL. 😂😂

They had no reservations left.  So I found a place about 20 minutes from the hotel that was supposedly 4. 7 stars on Open Table with a lake view.  We get there and I look around from the parking lot.  Where's the lake?  No lake. 

We get inside and it's like a sports bar.  There are like 5 TV screens going -- a couple supersized -- in the dining room in which we were seated.  

Did I mention that this is our anniversary dinner?  The official answer to "how many" is either "nonya" or "a lot" (maybe all one word).  

So. 

But the food was pretty good and the wait person was very good -- attentive and the right amount of patter. 

Here's the food porn:

Bacon-wrapped scallops

Filet mignon. 

Prime rib.

[We don't get a lot of beef at home]

We were stuffed -- no dessert. 

Back to B&B, bed, sleep, indigestion, yaddity, yaddity, ya

Breakfast at the B&B was egg casserole loaded with sausage.  Not a sausage fan.  With a side of two strips of bacon.  In case your arteries weren't clogging fast enough.  I ate the bacon.  I was told it was worth noting that the casserole was made with biscuits.  Okay. 🤷. And the fruit cup had a "cream" in it that the host told us, way too proudly, that it was made of Cool Whip (do you hear Stewie from Family Guy saying it? 😂) and vanilla pudding.  Try to think of it as tasty.  😡

At this point you may be wondering what happened with the toiletry bag.  Well, K wants full credit for this idea: I called the appropriate pharmacy in Elmira -- the closest one to us -- which opened at 9, where the equivalent one in Bloomsburg didn't open till 10 -- and asked what they could do.  First she said I didn't have a prescription to fill, so she couldn't do anything.  Then she relented and said she'd give me 5 of what I needed when I showed up.  I thanked her profusely.

Bottom line is I got my meds with about a 3 hour detour, as opposed to a 6 hour one.  All is well. 

[It's tough being old]

We got to Middlebury, our final destination, in time for dinner, which I won't repeat because it wasn't not worthy.  WE'll hope for better in the next couple days. 

And, if you are wondering, K's aunt lives outside of town.  We've never been here to visit.  She's like 85, though still really spry.  So...

Note: it's supposed to rain most of the next two days.  Ah, well...

Till tomorrow. 

Two Beach Days (and...food porn)

 Hey y'all,

It is Thursday, the day before the last day, and there's stuff to catch up on. 

Let's start with yesterday morning when I hit the local (it's .3 of a mile) donut joint, the Fractured Prune (is that really a good name for anything?!?!?).  Here's the photo of the box:

And then to the beach. 

It was like this:

(is dad having fun there? One wonders)

As we sat there a woman wondered in with her young son and sat down in front of us.  She was soon followed by what my mother would have called the mongrel horde (a play on Mongol, but maybe just a spoonerism).  I could not keep track of exactly how many there were (8? 10?) but they were with the first woman and child.  Here is why it was notable: half of them had red hair.  I kid you not.  That gene runs strong in their family (in Star Wars voice).  The second thing was the two "moms" were participating in a "I want to be the tattooed lady at the fair" competition. :). Both had leg sleeves.  Both had arm sleeves, but the one seemed to have tats from ankle to neck on the one side.  Not surprisingly, when what I took as their mom showed up, the last to arrive, she had a couple smaller tats on her.  The ink industry did well from that group. 

Then back to the cottage for rest and showers before dinner. 

BTW, coming back from the donut shop I heard the neighbor on his porch ranting about downtrodden white men.  Part of the rant started "ever since Obama came and stirred things up..."  I hurried inside, knowing we weren't going to be besties.  :)

K asked for a place on the water one night for dinner and this was it.  The Lighthouse was delightful, starting with this view. 

And here's the food:

This was the empanada app.  They were a bit spicy.  We discussed whether the pastry was quite right, but...

I had the filet (and so did EH) that was covered with scallion butter.  

K had the pork chop, which she really liked. 

We were waited on by Stephen, who was not young (we couldn't agree on his age, somewhere over 60, easily).  In the end, we were the only ones there.  So, he chatted.  A lot.  Showed pictures of his kids, one of whom served in Afghanistan and was wounded.  He had to tell why his name was Stephen and I, of course, had to tell him about my being Stephen (we were both named after the saint in the Bible) was my mother's second choice.  He asked if I saw a lot of red for my birthday.  Funny guy.  

Today began with a walk over to the Decatur Diner for breakfast.  It is a lot less than .3 of a mile away.  We were disappointed since one reviewer said it was the best crab benedict they'd ever had.  How many crab benedicts do we think they'd had? 🤔  Neither of us tried it, but my cinnamon raisin French toast was a bust (not soaked enough in the batter) and K's biscuits and gravy didn't have much sausage.  A bust.  Worst meal of the trip (knock wood)

To the beach. Another nice day.  EH and I took a mid-fry break to get an ice cream at Dumser's on the boardwalk. There are like 10 Dumser's Dairyland stores around here, and two across from each other on the boardwalk.  We approved of our shakes, which counted as lunch.  :)

Then back, nap, shower, yada di yada di...

Dinner, after some "discussion", was at Pancho and Lefty's.  They claimed to the "authentic Mexican."  How does one define that?  Well, they did make guacamole at the table.  And they had a nice assortment on the menu. 

Desert bloom margarita.  

EH had the quesadilla.

K had the "three amigos" -- a steak chimi, a chicken taco, and beef chalupa. 

Chicken burrito. 

Then we went to the boardwalk for a walk.   It was a bit chilly, with a strong breeze, and there were A LOT of people.  Given how empty the beach has been, it was rather surprising. 

It is amazing there are so many ice cream joints.  And how many burger and popcorn joints.  And tee shirt joints.  Not exactly a diverse business environment.  

Now back to watch the US soccer team try to win their third straight game.  Go USA!  

Till next time...

Escaping to? Berlin

 Hi folks,

The thing about a beach vacation is that, if you just go to the beach every day, there's not much to tell. 

Fortunately today our weather maven, K, thought it was not a good beach day (she wasn't wrong), so we spent the afternoon in Berlin, MD.  Did you know it was named the best small town in America?  Neither did I.

Though one wonders how such things are determined, I know it is a contender if the main criteria is the number of shops selling...okay, "stuff no one really needs."  The one place was full of pottery, another was a wine shop with other things (like duffle bags?), the one place had cool men's clothes, with a motorcycle in the middle of it, and...well, I lost track.  Ad infinitum to spend time wondering and saying "really?!?!?!" 

I took one picture that doesn't do the place justice, but it'll have to do as this blog's thumbnail, etc. 

There were multiple bakeries and we chose what we decided was the wrong one -- none of us was thrilled by what we ordered ):  but, then, again, we were having fresh baked goods on a Tuesday afternoon. 

Back to the cottage in a major rain storm (we've gotten a couple inches in the last 24 hours) to watch England NOT win their match with Ghana.  We hear a witch doctor in Ghana hexed Harry Kane.  But just for this game! 🤣

K found the dinner spot, which was less than a mile away and Italian.  She had the lasagna --

EH had the gnocchi with vodka sauce.

And I had the margherita pizza.  (they had an open oven where we could watch the guy singe his facial hair putting the pizzas in)

And they had the tiramisu. 

****

In case you are keeping track (and I know some of you are), yesterday morning we did go to the beach.  It was lovely, though there had been predictions of high winds.  It got close to that as we left around 1:30, but up till then it was in the high 70s and a mix of cloud and sun.  The water is 72 degrees, which isn't as warm as you'd think it was.

We had dinner at another local place, the Shrimp Boat, who runs a fresh shrimp stand on the road with the eatery on the side. 

It was the second consecutive night of "local atmosphere", eating off picnic tables, this time with packagin paper as a table cloth, and the interesting flatware in a paper sleeve approach.  And a roll of paper towels for napkins.  

But the food, though not inexpensive, was good.  

K got the wait staff recommended stuffed flounder

(though I wonder if that is really imperial sauce on it)

And EH had the crabcake dinner. (I had the cc sammy)

This was followed by a round of miniature golf -- a longstanding family beach vacay tradition -- which included several holes in one.  Including one we counted as a hole-in-one as EH, using the patented Happy Gilmore swing, bounced one off the course and into a waste basket sitting next to the next tee. 🤣🤣🤣

And back to our favorite cottage (a quick Booking.com check had it full next week here and the next week you could get one unit, that's all that was left, for $2,700 for the week...a bargain at twice the price! 🤣) to sit through a horrendous thunderstorm.  ):  

There was a discussion at dinner about coming back.  I said no (see the last blog), they said "it's not that bad."  I repeated the "they'll need Temperance Brennan (star of the book we are listening to on the ride) to determine what happened to me that I'm dead on the sofa" because it is too low and has a "lower back support" that only means you sit in a curled position.  They talked about maybe coming back and staying. 🙄. The beach is nice enough, and the town, but we won't be staying in the cottage that amenities forgot. 

Till my next inspiration (and the next two days at the beach may not provide it)...