Go Hammers!

 So today, wayward Reader, you’re gonna learn things —

Today’s “thing” was attending a football (back in America, OC, called “soccer” because, unlike the rest of the world, we play the game in our socks) match in London.  This has been a “to do” thing for years, but schedules, etc, haven’t aligned.  This year it did, as I found this match being played on Sunday, giving me Saturday to do things (there are places closed here on Sunday, if you can believe that), and I had a double rooting interest (more later). 

Where? The game was in Stratford — remember, I told you there was more than one here — which, for those of you who understand this, is one the EAST end of the Jubilee Line.  It is 6 miles east of the center of London. 

I have a friend, an historian (and I use the “an” just to annoy people like him), who claims most Americans don’t see the real London because they tend to stay in the tourist area, which is roughly between the Bank (in the old City) and Harrod’s in Knightsbridge.  Going to Stratford is going to “real London.”

Except…when I got there I was surprised to see all this stuff built up.  How’s this for touristy kitzch? 

The walk from the Tube station to the stadium was an arc through a mall, with a lot of eateries (Mexican Street Food?  Dessert Heaven?) and a lot of retail shops, though not the high end kind you see on Oxford Street or Regent’s Street in central London.  There were a lot of people and they weren’t all there for the footie. 

I admit it did feel more “real” than central London, which is wall-to-wall tourists and tourist stuff. 

The stadium — here’s the picture — 

You may or may not remember London Stadium: it was originally built for the 2012 Olympics (that the “London Olympics” were centered here was only a minor controversy…it’s the burbs), it was home of the opening and closing ceremonies and the track and field events.  it held 80,000 then.  It has a controversial architectural design pedigree — they did interesting things to build it and it is supposedly the most carbon neutral of its kind and time.  

After the Olympics, they took 3 years to reconfigure it for the multipurpose use it has today, taking off at least one level (it was designed so you could do that) and now seats 60+K for footie.  It was pretty full today.  

That’s your design history lesson. 

The home team is West Ham.  I looked it up (you’d know I didn’t know anyway) but Ham has nothing to do with a pig — it comes from the Anglo Saxon word for home.  Or, specifically, a home in the flatlands between two rivers.  West Ham dates back to the Anglo Saxons, with the first mention of the name in the 9th c.  So don’t going making porcine jokes on it. 😁

But West Ham is most famous to us Americans due to Ted Lasso, as it was bought at the end of Season 2 by our nemesis Rupert, who hired Nate away from Ted to be their manager.  Almost every episode in Season 3 has had scenes from London Stadium, and there has been much flashing of the Hammers (get it?) colors of maroon and light blue.  Here’s Rupert at today’s match:

My other rooting interest was that the Hamlets were playing Leeds.  You’d wonder why I cared, but “somehow” a month ago I put a bet on them to get relegated (I’m not explaining what that means).  As this is the penultimate game of the regular season, seeing Leeds lose would make me happy (they are currently in position to “go down” — again, not explaining, Sean!).  

Okay.  I want you people to know that this was a workout.  There are NO escalators in this stadium.  OC I have tickets where a nose will bleed (in fact, I searched for tickets all week and they were sold out — familiar story? — and there was ONE Thursday night…).  First there are like 40 steps up to the 2nd level.  I know I’m in trouble when I realize I’m in row 62.  Fortunately, it was ONLY 27 rows up from the tunnel.  Only.  I promised myself I’d not go down again till the end of the match (OC, I lied).  

When I finally got the blood to stop pumping like a jack hammer, I went to my seat.  Someone was sitting in it!  A woman.  I said “I’m in 297” (no, I’m not making the number up) and the guy next to her said, “yes, that’s your seat, but do you mind sitting in the other one? 297 is my brother’s seat and he sold it.”  Sure, what do I care?  I made some point about maybe they needed me in the middle to referee but HE said “no, we’re good…at least for now” Hahaha.  So I sat next to her.  I will continue this narrative no more here than to say that we talked some during the match. 🙂

The effin’ Leeds Leaders led early on, like 15 minutes in with an ugly goal that saw the ball go into a cluster of people right in front of the goal and someone (good or bad) knocked it past the goalie.  The crowd was quiet. 

It was a very nice crowd.  For reasons no one explained and I didn’t want to ask, they sang at various moments, including after goals, “Tiny Bubbles…”. And from somewhere bubbles appeared. 

There was what I thought was a lot of security.  You will OF COURSE know that this may have been due to the fact their was an incident at their game Thursday night in Holland — the Dutch fans attacked the players’ families area after game.  Players are on video fighting back. 

So, there was a certain air of tension. 

But everyone seemed happy, especially after tying goal in the 31st minute (play “Tiny Bubbles”) and then taking the lead in the 72nd.  There was another goal in extra time to finish 3-1. 

It was great fun.  Everyone was much more sedate than I had heard English football fans tend to be — maybe it was the right day and right spot.  The place was festive.  I think the stadium setup is different from American ones; it was like the tailgate was inside security but before you showed your ticket.  There were food vendors galore on the outside.  There was a big stadium shop, which had a long, long line in and then a long, long line to the registers, the latter of which moved quickly.  

I kind of wanted a t-shirt for their championship match in Prague — having won Thursday in Holland, they play in the Europa League final against a team from Italy there on June 7.  The shirts were in their maroon, with the country of the Czech Republic in blue and the crossed hammers (their symbol, duh) in the middle of the map.  

It was a great time and a good thing to check off my list.  And they won!!!! 

Before going, for those of you who are here for the food porn, I had brunch again at Bill’s (what can I say, it is on the way to the Tube station and pretty good, usually).  Today was eggs Benedict.   It came with a side of beans, just to gross some of you out. 

It looks better than it was, since a) they got my egg order wrong, b) (related to the first?) it was pretty cold.  🥲

Tomorrow 4 of the students are off to the Harry Potter thing, which I think is a 7-hour round trip.  It’s a day killer.  I told them to go, if that’s what they wanted to do.  The other 2 have asked to do things with me and we have a plan.  It involves rooks and shopping.  Look forward to it, y’all.