Dear Reader (it’s Monday…blah…),
Another day, another 10 million steps around London.
FYI I think today is clearly the worst weather day of the week — very overcast, a bit of a sea breeze, and didn’t feel as warm as the 62 (16ish for you sticklers) it claimed to be. I was freezing.
Today’s first official activity was a trip to the Tower. I got this shot from the scenic view point across the street.
Speaking of eggs, back to Bill’s for brekkie. I looked for alternatives, but there really aren’t any. “Back in the day…” (we actually lived a few blocks away as early as ‘04) there were several cafe/diners along this street where you could get a cooked breakfast for a small price (like $5 [I have no pound sign option). In fact, in ‘04 when we got to the flats, they sent us across the street to the one for brekkie because the flat wasn’t done. But, alas, they’re gone now. I guess Covid killed ‘‘em. ☹️
Anyway, eggs. I sit down and the host/waitstaff says “we don’t have cooked eggs except poached because the gas is out.” What does one say? Does one inquire how one gets poached eggs without a cooker? Does one say “how do you cook the pancakes?”…
In my experience, no, one does not. 😂. I ordered the basic breakfast and my eggs, as I like them, hard (wondering how that was going to happen). Fortunately, she came back before my plate came and said the gas was back on and they could do my eggs however I wanted. What a relief!!! Poached eggs with traditional breakfast?!?!?!
We were just there last year. But they’ve changed things around enough to confuse me just enough.
At the new “corral” where the tours with the Yeoman Warder (aka Beefeater) begin, we stood and waited. I insisted they take the tour. I find the Warder schtick worth hearing. I will not repeat all his jokes (like I could remember them). This is Gary, or, as he said, if you don’t like his schtick, Barney. 😂
There is, of course, so much to tell about the history of the place. Started by William the Bastard (Gary wanted us to know he had a nickname here before he won at Hastings and got to be king) in 1078 to show the Anglos he was planning on staying, it has been the scene of much Rigamarole. Gary leaned heavily into the Anne Boleyn stuff, as he thought his audience was here for the beheadings but wanted to point out other women were beheaded inside the castle grounds who got less notoriety. Divorced-beheaded-died-divorced-beheaded…
Gary finished by telling the joke that they were no longer allowed to tell because an American complained. “You could still have had all this if you had just paid your taxes.” 😂 He told it in the “we can’t tell this joke anymore” format. I wonder if someone writes the stuff for them.
Oh! The title! Gary wanted to know how many of us were from “‘Merica.” He said it was okay, they had forgiven the traitors. He said in his “what they did after a beheading spiel” that the crowd said “rah”, not that ‘merican thing “yee haw.” In fairness, about William he said “we didn’t like those from the Continent telling us what to do even then…too soon?” 😂
So, to continue with my 🙄students theme of these blogs (it’s been a few days, you may have forgotten), I said to R&R (there were just the two of them, you will recall, since you memorize these, that 4 went to Harry Potter World, a 7-hour extravaganza, purportedly 4 on the bus to and fro) to go get into the queue for the Crown Jewels. It is the thing to do. Maybe more so this year, having just seen Charles try to keep his head up with all that stuff laid on his neck and head. I said I had gone through last year and I’d wait for them.
Here they came about 20 minutes later. And pretty quickly admitted they hadn’t gone through. 🙄 “The line is so long — it’d be like an hour — and we didn’t think it was worth it.” 🤦🏻🙄. Come to London, get a ticket to the Tower and NOT see the Crown Jewels. I wonder if they stand in line at Disney World? 🤷
Eventually we made our way out and they wanted lunch. There’s a Wagamama’s right there and they agreed. I *did not* have the katsu curry! Here’s what I had (it’s ramen, in case you don’t recognize them)
I will now use this 🙄students again. I said I would get them there, but if they were shopping (should it be in quotes?) I wasn’t standing around with them as they…shopped. That’d I’d make sure they knew how to get back and move on. They were like “oh, don’t worry…”
Right. We aren’t 50 feet out of the Tube station and up the street that leads to Portobello Road when R pipes up “I want to go in that shop” — a 2nd hand clothing store — ACROSS THE STREET! Okay, back across at the crosswalk. There was a Starbucks next door. After getting my drink, I sat in the entry to the flats on the other side of the door and waited. They came out (I could exaggerate how long it took, but it was maybe 15 minutes) and THE OTHER R! Had a bag!!! “Too expensive,” R1 said.
Cross the road, walk five storefronts, “Oh, we have to go in here!” Another second hand clothing store. I went in next door and bought a solar-powered dancing King Charles. They were done fairly shortly.
THEN we got to the top end of Portobello Road. Again, six store fronts down, “gotta go in.”
Sigh.
After about 10 minutes I decided to go on. I never saw them again. I texted that I was heading down the road (notable point: it is DOWN from that end, you at times can look down the road and see the stuff setup), to where the real market started (another two blocks from where they were) and would circle back if…
They texted back that they were done. In fact, had circled back to an earlier stop! And didn’t want to come on down the street. And could find their way back. This last I found good.
So, like the Tower, come to one of the most famous shopping markets in the world and…nope, don’t need to walk that far…
So, like so much in life, they never really saw what makes Portobello Road famous — the closed road, the pop up awnings and tables, the stuff, most of it pretty kitschy. And, of course, the travel book shop from Notting Hill, which appears on everything there.
Though I stood a long time at a stand that sold reusable bags. There were some great sayings on them. One was something like “Try as I might I will never satisfy everyone like coffee” 😂. And “this bag contains a bomb, a gun, and a big knife and a shitload of drugs” laughing 😂😂😂 and something like “I’m too polite to tell you to fuck off” I’d have gotten one, but I didn’t think much of the size (no way it would have held all that stuff in 😂) and I’m already wondering if I’m getting all my stuff home.
And that was my day. Dinner? Something not worth writing home about. (Get the hint)
Tomorrow we are going to Cambridge. I am sure there will be a punt ride, Michael, and I’m sure to send someone the picture. 😁 (for those who don’t know, which isn’t many of you, Michael and I were photographed on one in ‘12 and our “friend” Ken thought it was so funny he had a poster made of it and hung it in my office. Oddly, he had a poster of it made for himself, too, which maybe Michael can explain 😂). I think it’s good that they see a traditional English university town, or rather one of the two, though I wonder if they realize that this is kind of sort of like their university. Funny, there aren’t punt rides down the Susquehanna with tours about the history of the colleges, their patrons, and the architecture. 🤔.
And then we’ll hustle back because 4 (is it the same 4? It might be) have tickets to see Hamilton. I have a ticket to the National to see…Jonny Flynn as Richard Burton (can that actually work? 🤔). Everyone in it and the director (Sam Mendez) are pretty well known. Might be why it is sold out for most of the next month.
And, till then…
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